Lulu's Loves Read online

  “Maybe on Saturday. Call me,” I said, and started to turn away. He grabbed my hand and pulled me back to face him.

  “Are you gonna answer my call this time?”

  My knees felt weak all of a sudden. I’d never felt anything like that before. “Maybe.”

  That night, the phone rang and my dad called out to me. “Lulu. You have a call.” When I reached for the phone, he smiled. “It’s a boy. Told you.” He smirked.

  On Saturday, I waited for him to come pick me up. His mom was driving when they pulled up.

  He came to the door to get me.

  “Thank you for letting Lulu go out with me, Mr. Welk.”

  That’s so sweet…

  “Hey, Mrs. Dean,” I said, when Jason opened the door.

  “You look cute,” she replied.

  “Thank you.” I’d picked a white peasant blouse to go with my jeans.

  “Yep,” Jason said in a soft voice as he slid in beside me.

  His mom dropped us off at Regal Cinemas South. We decided we’d see Hook, a movie about the Peter Pan story, with Robin Williams as Captain Hook. Jason put great thought into which movie we’d see. When we got to the ticket window, he whipped out his wallet to pay our way in. Then, he led me toward the concession counter for popcorn and drinks. We picked our seats and talked a little before the previews began.

  “Thanks for coming with me. I didn’t think you’d ever talk to me again. I hoped you would,” he said. He sounded sincere.

  “Thanks for inviting me.” I didn’t know what else to say and felt great relief when the lights dimmed for the movie to start.

  The movie was good and Jason’s mom was waiting for us when we exited the theater. When we pulled up in front of my house, Jason got out to hold the door for me. I thanked his mom and he walked me to the door.

  “Thanks, Lulu. I had fun.”

  “Me, too. I’ll see you on Monday.” I reached for the doorknob, but Jason reached for my hand before I opened the door. It felt awkward. It felt exciting. We both just stood there, not knowing what to do next. Finally, he quickly brought my hand to his lips, kissed it, and turned to bolt for the car.

  When I stepped inside my dad was watching TV. “Well?”

  “Well, the movie was funny, and Jason just kissed my hand,” I blurted out.

  “He kissed your hand?” My dad had the biggest smile on his face.

  “Yes. It was weird.”

  “Weird because you liked it, and you don’t know what to do about that?” he asked, muting the sound on the TV.

  “I don’t know if I liked it or not. It was just weird.”

  “Lulu, I need to ask…”

  “He didn’t try anything,” I interrupted.

  “Well, that makes me happy.” He looked relieved. After the whole boob thing, I was relieved too. I kept thinking he’d try to touch them or something.

  Thank God he didn’t.

  Monday morning he was at my locker when I got there.

  “Hey,” he said, nervously.

  “Good morning,” I said and smiled. For some reason, him being there made me happy.

  “Want to eat lunch together?” he asked

  “The girls will want to know why,” I replied.

  “Did you tell them we went out?”

  “No, I just got here.”

  “You didn’t call them?” He seemed surprised.

  “No, was I supposed to?” I questioned.

  Now, this is getting awkward.

  “Not supposed to. I just figured you would.” He acted like it should have been a bigger deal than I felt like it was. It was just a movie.

  “I’ll tell them I’m eating with you,” I said.

  “I’ll see you at 11:30.” He walked away with a big dopey smile.

  At lunch, it felt like the entire cafeteria was watching us. It was uncomfortable. I’d told the girls. They acted like it was a big deal, giggling in response.

  It’s just lunch.

  Jason acted like it was a big deal, too. He seemed to like the attention that sitting together brought. When we finished eating and it was time to head back to class, he reached for my hand, a gesture not missed by one single person in the room.

  “I’ll see you later,” he said. I swear I thought he was going to kiss my hand again.

  Weird. Just weird!

  “Yeah, later.”

  Everyone watched as I walked away. I thought they were going to start applauding or something.

  Jason called after dinner. When I hung up, I must have had the deer in the headlights look. My dad noticed.

  “Everything all right?” he asked.

  I sat down on the sofa beside him. “It’s just weird, Dad. That’s all.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “We went to a movie. We ate lunch together, and now he thinks I’m his girlfriend. I’m thirteen. I don’t want to have a boyfriend.”

  “What did you say to him?” I swear he was trying not to grin.

  “That we should just be friends first. He wasn’t happy. I told him it was too soon, I mean, one movie? He should at least take me out for ice cream or something.” As I said the words we both fell out laughing.

  “You’re a beautiful young woman, Lulu. Get used to the attention,” he said.

  “Says my father,” I giggled.

  He got up and went to his bedroom. When he returned he had something in both hands. He sat down beside me and laid one of the things he had down. He turned the other for me to see. It was a picture of my mom.

  “She was so beautiful,” I said. I touched the glass as though I could feel her. I felt a lump in my throat as I looked at the dark hair and brown eyes looking back at me. He didn’t say anything. He put the framed picture in my lap and picked up the other item. It was a mirror. He held it in front of me.

  “You look just like her,” he said.

  The next day at school, Jason was waiting at my locker.

  “What’s wrong with you? I’m a good guy!” His voice seemed full of anger, It felt like he was yelling at me. His face was even red. I didn’t understand that emotion.

  “Nothing’s wrong with me. I just think we should do some more things together before you decide that I’m your girlfriend,” I tried to explain.

  “Like what?” he snapped.

  “I don’t know, ice cream? Another movie? Pizza? We don’t really know each other that well, Jason.”

  “You don’t know what you’re missing,” he shouted as he walked away. There were other kids by the lockers and they were watching.

  I hate this kind of stuff.

  I was nice when I saw him later in the day and said hello. He ignored me.

  Ridiculous.

  I didn’t see him for a couple of days, and then on Friday, he was waiting at my locker.

  “Good morning.” I said, smiling at him.

  “Hey. I’m sorry.”

  “What are you sorry for?” I asked, as I gathered what I needed for my first two classes.

  “That I was a dickhead.”

  “Well, I’m sorry you were a dickhead, too,” I replied. He laughed hard.

  “I just like you Lulu, and I didn’t understand. It felt like you were saying you didn’t like me. I just didn’t understand. I’ve been trying to get your attention forever.”

  “Why me?” I asked, as I closed the door to my locker. I glanced quickly at my watch. We only had a few more minutes before we needed to get to class.

  “Because you have big boobs,” he said. He seemed so serious that I just stood there with my mouth hanging open. “Payback for the dickhead remark.”

  We both laughed and hurried on our way.

  That evening he called again. “How about ice cream tomorrow afternoon?”

  “That’d be nice.” I felt a warm feeling come over me and realized that I was blushing.

  Thank goodness he can’t see me.

  There was an ice cream shop at a strip plaza between his house and mine, we agreed to meet there.
I picked out a sundress and decided that my bike wasn’t the ultimate means of transportation for my outfit. It was a nice day, so I walked. When I got there, he was sitting inside at a table in the corner. He rose to meet me at the counter.

  “Hi,” I said.

  “You look pretty, Lulu.”

  Oh! There’s that blush again!

  I looked over the selections and placed my order. “I’ll have a banana split please, the small one.”

  “With two spoons,” he added. The silly look on his face made me smile.

  Outside, we picked a round picnic table with a red and white umbrella covering it. He sat beside me.

  “This is nice,” I said.

  “It is. Let’s start over, okay? I want to get to know you, Lulu.” He thought a minute and added, “Tell me about your mom.”

  “Oh, I don’t want to do that.”

  I felt like a turtle that needed to pull back into my shell and hide. I didn’t like talking about my mom because it always made me cry. He put his hand on my back, a sweet gesture. “It’s just that…well, it hurts and I don’t want to feel sad. Let me tell you about my dad instead.”

  “Ok,” he encouraged.

  “It’s just the two of us, you know. He’s amazing. He’s head of advertising, media, and publicity for Bricker Chevrolet. He’s been there for forever-before I was born.” I looked over at him. His head rested on his hand as he listened intently.

  Oh my. He’s so cute!

  “Any of the commercials on TV, radio, and the print ads you see for Bricker are his work. He has awards for it.”

  “You’re proud,” he observed.

  “I am because he’s done all of that and been the best single parent I could ever imagine.” I took a big breath to continue. “He dressed me up in girly costumes and went to every dance recital I ever had. Someone else had to help with the hair and make-up. He wasn’t so good at that.”

  We both laughed. It felt good to laugh.

  “He’s like a gourmet cook too, best burgers on the grill! Look out when he makes beanie weenies! And he has Pizza Hut on speed dial!” I laughed and thought a moment. “He’s a good man. He’s a good father and mother.”

  “My mom and dad are good parents, but they’re busy with my sister, Emmy.”

  “I didn’t even know you had a sister,” I acknowledged.

  “She’s eight years older than me. She doesn’t live here; she’s in South Carolina at a facility for drug rehab. She’s pretty much been a train wreck since she was thirteen,” he reflected. “Every time they think she’s got it together, something happens that sets her back. Mom goes one weekend, Dad goes the next.”

  “I’m sorry.”

  “No need. Her issues keep me on the straight and narrow path. Sports are my drug-football, actually.”

  “You’re a good player. I don’t know a thing about football, but everyone raves over how good you are.”

  “You’ve been listening to Kelsey and Maddie,” he said with a disgusted smirk. “They’re annoying. They follow me through the halls at school and ride their bikes past my house. On game nights those airhead cheerleaders are the worst. I don’t dig girls with no brains, and where theirs belong is completely empty.”

  I just looked at him.

  “Your brain is amazing. I’ve heard Miss Potter go on about your papers in English class. She uses you as the model for what a good research paper should be. You should be proud of that.”

  “I am, but I think it makes people think I’m a nerd or a geek. I really am neither; I’m just a loner. Except for Rachael. She gets me.”

  “Why, Lulu?” he asked.

  “Something’s missing in my life. I feel like I don’t want to share that with anyone. I miss my mom so much, especially now. I was so young when she died, but now…well, at this time in my life, I have millions of questions to ask her. My dad does a good job, but…” I felt the tears and stopped. “I don’t want to cry.”

  “Don’t cry.” He reached for my hand and held it to his cheek, a gesture so sweet that I couldn’t help crying.

  “I’m sorry.”

  “Don’t be. Really, Lulu, I won’t say I understand, but I get it,” he said. He brought my hand to his lips and kissed it.

  “That’s so sweet,” I said. “I mean, it’s…don’t take it the wrong way, but it’s like an older man’s gesture, but it’s super sweet.”

  “I’ll walk you home.”

  I looked at my watch; we’d been there for almost two hours.

  As we walked, he took my hand. “Lulu?”

  “Huh?”

  “Will you think about it?” he asked.

  “Think about what?” I asked, unsure of the direction of our conversation.

  “Being my girlfriend,” he said.

  “I’m not exactly sure what that means, Jason,” I replied, honestly.

  “Well, that you won’t see anyone else – exclusive – just you and me,” he explained.

  “I’d love to be your girlfriend,” I stated.

  “Ice cream seals the deal!” he laughed out loud.

  Jason and I were a couple. My dad laid down the rules for him and he agreed to be a gentleman. We went to school dances and every girl there was jealous, except Rachael. She just wasn’t a fan of Jason Dean. I attended his football games, and he came to my house to watch movies with my dad and me. He was my boyfriend.

  As soon as he turned sixteen, Jason got his driver’s license. His parents gave him a car for his birthday, and because he trusted him, my dad let him take me out on a date-a real date. Jason told him we were going to a movie, but the direction we headed when we left, told me a different story.

  “Where are we going?” I asked.

  “To make out. We’re going to the airport road.”

  “Why?”

  “I want to be alone with you. I’ve been waiting for this day forever,” he replied.

  “What exactly does this mean?” I needed to know what he thought was going to happen.

  “I want to kiss you, Lulu.” We pulled up to a stoplight. He turned to look my way, watching me.

  “We’ve kissed,” I pointed out.

  “Yeah, but we haven’t kissed,” he grinned.

  “That’s all, right?” I was apprehensive, but he promised my dad, so I waited. I needed to know.

  “This time,” he smiled.

  But it wasn’t all. When he parked the car, he practically crawled on top of me. Shoving his tongue halfway down my throat, his hands found my breasts, and he started feeling them. I mean hard. Rough.

  “Stop,” I said as firmly as I could spit the words out.

  “I can’t, Lu; I’ve dreamed about touching them for so long. I mean more than just a feel.”

  “Jason, that’s enough. I mean it. Stop.” I shoved him away and straightened my shirt.

  He was pissed. His body language left no question that he was mad at me.

  “Take me home. Now,” I demanded.

  He started the car and sped off. “You don’t know what you’re missing,” he taunted. I realized that this was the second time he’d said those words to be. I didn’t like when he provoked me like that.

  When he got to the house he parked the car and turned to me, but I was already opening the door. I stepped out, slamming the door. He called out behind me.

  “I’ll call you tomorrow, but I want you to think about us.”

  “What in the heck does that mean?” I snapped back at him.

  “I mean I’m ready for more of you.”

  I walked to the house and didn’t look back. When I opened the front door my dad was on the couch. He looked at his watch, questioningly.

  “We didn’t go to the movie,” I said, flopping down beside him.

  “Do you want to talk about it?”

  I thought for a moment. I would never lie to my dad. We’ve had plenty of uncomfortable conversations as I’d grown up, so I decided to just throw it out.

  “Jason wanted to park somewhere and m
ake out.” I saw my dad sit up straighter.

  “We found a place, but really all he wanted to do was feel my breasts.” His eyebrows raised in alarm. “I stopped him. He got mad and brought me home.”

  “Lulu, I need to know, so that I know what to be prepared for.” I had no idea what he was going to ask and it made me antsy. “Do you think about more with him?”

  “If I’m honest, I think about it, but I’m not ready. I wouldn’t know where to begin.” I laughed, trying to ease his discomfort.

  “You’re getting to that age where we need to talk about this,” he said, extremely uncomfortably.

  “I’m not ready.”

  “But Lulu, sometimes the boy is ready before the girl and he gets…” I heard him gulp. “He gets, um, frisky and then the girl feels like she has to.”

  “I’m pretty sure that no one can make me do something I don’t want to,” I assured him.

  “Lulu…oh, geeze, this is so uncomfortable.” He inhaled deeply. “Sometimes when it gets started, the thing is that, well, the girl caves because she kind of starts to like what’s happening.”

  “I’ll let you know when I do.”

  “Lulu, I won’t like it, but I’ll understand it. Do I need to talk to Jason?” he asked.

  “No. I’ve got this.”

  The next few months I was able to keep Jason at the kissing, exploring, and touching level in our relationship, but it started to get harder for both of us. He started pushing the limit every time we were together.

  “I’ll use a condom. Come on, Lu,” he’d beg.

  “No. I’m not taking any chances.”

  I knew that Rachael and her boyfriend Tony were having sex and I talked to her about it. She told me her mom took her to the doctor. She’d been on birth control for a while. I was sure I could have talked to her mom, but I knew that my dad needed to know, even if he didn’t give his blessing. I had to do the right thing.

  He took me to the doctor.

  Finally, Jason made a plan. His parents were both going to see his sister and his house would be empty. We’d be alone.